Wednesday May 28, 2008

Less than two days after getting off the plane from San Jose, Costa Rica, I was saying “bye” to Texas once again. I don’t want a last summer in Texas anyway. Too freakin’ hot. So off to Minnesota I went.
The drive up to Minneapolis was really something. Oklahoma is completely uninhabited, as is Iowa, so I don’t want to hear anyone say anything about the country being overpopulated ever again. Just send people to Iowa and Oklahoma. They have plenty of room.
I made a stop in Wichita, Kansas, to see my grandparents before finishing up the drive for the night (I ended up driving 14 hours the first day). It was a terrible visit, and they probably will not be seeing me again. I do not care to remember them this way. My grandma, 90, has developed dementia since my last visit for Thanksgiving in 2006, and she can hardly walk now as well. Between her surprising racist comments about the black people on The Price is Right and her asking me if I was hungry about 15 times in an hour, while not having a clue who I was (she kept trying to call me Kevin, which is nothing new since I do look a lot like what my brother looked like when he was my age, or trying to call me Jonathan, my 10-year-old nephew, that was a new one), anyway, I realized that an hour and a half was way too long. My grandpa didn’t really seem with it either, or maybe he just adapted to her dementia. Anyway, I was nearly crying when I got back in my car. I am glad I stopped, but at the same time I wish I hadn’t.
As soon as I crossed the Kansas border into Missouri police pulled everyone on the highway over to a rest stop and had everyone show their driver’s license and insurance. I’m terrified of cops so them just being around me made me nervous, and then when they asked for my insurance it took me a few minutes to find it which shook me up even more.
Finally I found it and handed it over and the cops asked me why I had a Texas license and was heading to Minneapolis when I had a Michigan plate. I stared at them for a moment, making sure they knew that I thought they were idiots, and told them “because it is a Texas plate? Not a Michigan plate… I’ve never been to Michigan.” They paused, looked me over for a second in my Kevin Garnett jersey and backwards Minnesota Twins hat, and went to the front of my car where they saw a Texas plate. Having been caught showing their stupidity, they decided to bother me a little more, since they couldn’t prove that I stole my own car.
“Why are you heading to Minneapolis? Where are you stopping tonight? What newspaper is that? I’ve never heard of that. Who are you staying with up there? Why are you driving from Texas to Michigan? Are you moving there? Why do you have so many boxes in your car if you are not moving there? So you are moving there? That sounds like moving there to me.”
And to each one, I responded, growing more annoyed with each question as they were clearly not listening, but I still kept my cool.
“I have an internship in Minneapolis with the Southwest Journal and the Downtown Journal. I don’t know where I am stopping tonight; I’ll stop when I stop. The newspapers are local Minneapolis, they are not distributed statewide. I’m staying with my brother in Apple Valley when I get up there. I told you already, I’ve never been to Michigan, I don’t care to go to Michigan, I’m going to Minneapolis, Minnesota for an internship. No, I’m not moving there. I will only be up there for the summer. I have so many boxes because I will be there for a while. No. I don’t see that as moving there. Fine I’m moving there.”
Finally they asked me what they’d clearly wanted to ask me for awhile.
“Is this your car sir? How long have you had it? Where did you get the money to buy this car? Sir, can you pull over to the side there and get out of the car. We’d like to search it if that is ok with you.”
“Yes it is my car, I told you that. I have the insurance forms, you saw them, you checked them. I’ve had it for a little more than a year. My dad bought it for me with help from our insurance company after my car was totaled in a tornado last year in Texas. Go ahead, search it. I have nothing to hide.”
They searched the inside pretty thoroughly for a few minutes, pulling my clothes out of boxes and digging through every piece of trash I had in the front seat. Finally they backed out and came over to me as I was convulsing in the cold wind and apologized and thanked me for my help, then handed my keys back to me. Immediately I popped open the drunk and grabbed my Texas State hoodie, then I paused for a second. They never checked my trunk. What an enormous mistake they could have made. They didn’t have a search dog smelling around, they didn’t check my trunk, I could have had bags and bags of heroine or coke or something in my trunk, and they checked everywhere else except for the most obvious place someone would hide something. Well, lucky for them I don’t do drugs, and I have no interest in having anything to do with the drug business.
Anyway, so finally I was on my way again after an hour or so of interrogation by Missouri’s finest. I was so angry about the interrogation and their accusations that I had a lot of energy and nearly decided to drive all the way to my brother’s house, but decided against that since I would arrive at 6:30 a.m. with no way into the house and my sister-in-law does daycare at the house… the little terrors would wake me up as soon as I arrived. So I stopped just past of Kansas City in Kearny, MO, and booked a hotel there.